I have been delightfully single for over three years now. I always say that I have given up on romance, but the truth is closer to the fact that I just have not met anyone that I cannot live without. There are those that I develop crushes on, of course, but the timing and circumstances never work out for me, and so I stay single.
And I love it. I do not need anyone to validate my existence in this cold, harsh world, and I have plenty on my plate anyway, so I do not need the extra complication of having to meet the needs of another person. I can barely take care of myself, why would I want to mess with anyone else’s life?
Besides, as I like to say, in my most self-deprecating manner, “I wouldn’t wish myself on my worst enemy!”
I guess that the point of all of this is that it is a little hard for me at this time of year; not because I am sad and lonely, or whatever, but because Valentine’s Day has become such an ingrained consumerist tradition that single people often are marginalized. It is almost as if coupled people feel sorry for single people because they could not land a lover for this one marketed day.
I would love to have a Special Someone to celebrate Valentine’s Day; I am not completely jaded, but I would like many other things in my life to be different before I start mucking around someone else’s affairs. Therefore, I remain delightfully single.
Maybe things would be different and better in my life if I had That Someone Special to share my life with.
No. I have been there already. I am doing it right.
Anyway, someday things will be different, but I must admit that I was never the most romantic person on Valentine’s Day in the past. I can be quite romantic, and I may have loved the person I was with completely, but I have a nasty resistance toward crass commercialism. Valentine’s Day has always repelled me.
Like many people who feel the same way about Christmas; i.e., “Why do we need one day a year to love mankind…”, I would say the same about Valentine’s Day. Hell, I would not only say it—I would act on it. My former-wife could attest that we never went out to dinner on Valentine’s Day, and I probably never bought her a gift. I would insist on a quiet evening at home that looked just like every other night off the week, and then take her out for a special dinner the following month.
In fact, I think that I only ever took out a lover for a typical Valentine’s Day dinner-and-a-movie date once in my life. It was a nice, if forced, evening, and I dumped her later that year.
Wow! I started this post trying to sound positive about Valentine’s Day from a single person’s point of view, and it has taken a completely new direction.
I do not mean to sound jaded and bitter, but I guess I just do not like feeling bullied into celebrating such a commercialized holiday. Nor do I want to be pitied for being single.
I do want to wish a Happy Valentine’s Day to all the lovers out there, but please remember; you do not have to give in to all the trappings and pressures of the so-called holiday.
And with that thought, here is a song from the amazing new My Bloody Valentine album. Enjoy!