Holy Crap! I’m actually doing it. I’m writing. I’ve always wanted to, and now I am. It’s happening.
For as long as I could remember, I have wanted to be a writer; specifically, a novelist. I have always possessed the talent deep within myself, but I have never found the time or specific mind-set or discipline to sit down and put my thoughts down. I have daydreamed a novel to completion, but I have only made weak-willed attempts at making it happen.
Until now, and it is finally happening!
When I started this blog a couple of weeks ago, I had no real vision for what I was going to write. I knew that at some point, I would have to start writing my novel bit-by-bit, but I also had other ideas. For example, I knew that I wanted to write a little about my experiences as a Deadhead and music Historian. In a flash of inspiration, I wrote an essay about depression that I think came out well. I wrote a candid essay on my attempts to be a solo live music performer. I also shared my experiences with pancreatic cancer, and I think I wrote that one too hurriedly. There is so much more to tell of that tale. Maybe there will be installments.
I have written a few other essays on other topics, and I have many other ideas, and they will get written in due time, but all I really want to do now is find my voice, get comfortable with the process of writing, and learn the skill. I have no delusions of greatness at this point; rather, I only want to practice and practice and practice.
And I am doing just that!
I realize that these are early days for me, and that I will only get better with more practice. Even if I use my Blue Moon Baby idea and make it a novel, I know that I will have to go back, throw everything away, and start over. I have already thought of things that I need to add to what I have already written and published here on WordPress.
I even have a small gathering of followers here, and I am so grateful that they stop by to see what I have written. I only wish that I received more feedback. Most of my FaceBook friends that read my blog hit-and-run me, which is fine, but I would really like to get some honest feedback. I know that my writing is not great, yet; and that is not me being self-denigrating, which I do all the time, that is just me being honest. This is your invitation to be brutal!
I am going to keep writing what I want, and go where the inspiration takes me, at least until I find that hard focus that forces me to write with real purpose. I am having fun, and I want to do this forever.
I find myself sneaking in a paragraph or two in spare moments, and even writing for hours until the sentences start sounding stupid. I find that I want to spend as much time as I can on this desperately old and feeble computer. And when I can’t write anymore, I read. And when my eyes are crossed and blurry, then I turn on the TV to listen to dialogue. I am having fun!
I am just so proud of myself for finally doing this!