Who Knew?

Holy Crap!  I’m actually doing it.  I’m writing.  I’ve always wanted to, and now I am.  It’s happening.

For as long as I could remember, I have wanted to be a writer; specifically, a novelist.  I have always possessed the talent deep within myself, but I have never found the time or specific mind-set or discipline to sit down and put my thoughts down.  I have daydreamed a novel to completion, but I have only made weak-willed attempts at making it happen.

Until now, and it is finally happening!

When I started this blog a couple of weeks ago, I had no real vision for what I was going to write.  I knew that at some point, I would have to start writing my novel bit-by-bit, but I also had other ideas.  For example, I knew that I wanted to write a little about my experiences as a Deadhead and music Historian.  In a flash of inspiration, I wrote an essay about depression that I think came out well.  I wrote a candid essay on my attempts to be a solo live music performer.  I also shared my experiences with pancreatic cancer, and I think I wrote that one too hurriedly.  There is so much more to tell of that tale.  Maybe there will be installments.

I have written a few other essays on other topics, and I have many other ideas, and they will get written in due time, but all I really want to do now is find my voice, get comfortable with the process of writing, and learn the skill.  I have no delusions of greatness at this point; rather, I only want to practice and practice and practice.

And I am doing just that!

I realize that these are early days for me, and that I will only get better with more practice.  Even if I use my Blue Moon Baby idea and make it a novel, I know that I will have to go back, throw everything away, and start over.  I have already thought of things that I need to add to what I have already written and published here on WordPress.

I even have a small gathering of followers here, and I am so grateful that they stop by to see what I have written.  I only wish that I received more feedback.  Most of my FaceBook friends that read my blog hit-and-run me, which is fine, but I would really like to get some honest feedback.  I know that my writing is not great, yet; and that is not me being self-denigrating, which I do all the time, that is just me being honest. This is your invitation to be brutal!

I am going to keep writing what I want, and go where the inspiration takes me, at least until I find that hard focus that forces me to write with real purpose.  I am having fun, and I want to do this forever.

I find myself sneaking in a paragraph or two in spare moments, and even writing for hours until the sentences start sounding stupid.  I find that I want to spend as much time as I can on this desperately old and feeble computer.  And when I can’t write anymore, I read.  And when my eyes are crossed and blurry, then I turn on the TV to listen to dialogue.  I am having fun!

I am just so proud of myself for finally doing this!



Filed under Deep Thoughts, man...

2 responses to “Who Knew?

  1. Keep writing! It kind of rolls around and goes through phases, but it does get easier once you are over the first hump of starting. It feels less foreign.

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